On Doing the Work
- October 25, 2021
- by
- Rachel
As a capitalist society, we talk a lot about work. Productivity. Putting in the time. No one eating without working. As a neurotic society, we talk about “doing the Work.” Finding a good therapist. Taking up yoga. Setting boundaries.
Then there’s Allen Ginsberg’s definition from The Fall of America back in 1963 that goes like this:
Well, while I am here I’ll do the work –
and what’s the Work?
To ease the pain of living.
Everything else, drunken
dumbshow.
As a survivor, I have done a lot of the Work, but I have also come to...
Giraffe-Like Mindfulness
- September 21, 2021
- by
- Rachel
Or How to Be Like Gerald.
The best advice I have found that manages to work for both mindfulness and parenting comes not from a Tibetan Buddhist or an enlightened psychologist. It comes from a children’s book written by Giles Andreae and Guy Parker-Rees called Giraffes Can’t Dance. I had never heard of this book until LA received it as a gift for having the bravery to be born.
Online sleuthing determined that the authors of this colourful volume are British, it was first published in 1999, and its MRSP was $6.99....
Speaking of Trauma and BMWs
- September 14, 2021
- by
- Rachel
“You’re a BMW,” she said. “You’re sexy, but you’re expensive, and you break down a lot.”
I stood frozen to the spot as the words slammed into me, knocking my breath out of my chest and flooding me with the dark heat of shame. I started to disassociate which allowed me to make a joke, to pretend it meant nothing.
She may have had no idea how her words would land. Or maybe she did, because, from the vestiges of my trauma, I had hurt her.
I have no way of knowing intent,...
Mindful Travel
- September 07, 2021
- by
- Rachel
As every parent knows, travel with a child is an exercise in patience and expecting the unexpected.
A few months ago, I took my first solo trip with LA to visit some friends. Armed with the knowledge that my own mother had done many trips of longer duration with two children, not just one, I was confident I would overcome any potential challenges with ease. In retrospect, I realise my mother and I never had an actual conversation about any of those trips. She had a particularly intense hatred for the...
Sacred Sundays
- August 31, 2021
- by
- Rachel
Sunday mornings are a trigger for me in a huge way. Being raised in a family where church was the dominating priority meant being in that building three times a week at a minimum. More if you were involved in any sort of study group or service activity. If you were travelling, you found a congregation and attended there as well. The only exceptions I recall were when we were in a place where we had no way of arriving to a service, at which point my parents would...
Leaking Trauma
- August 24, 2021
- by
- Rachel
Several years ago, my brother bought a home with an unfinished basement. To his disgust, he soon found that there was an unidentifiable leak that dripped incessantly and caused flooding. He employed the handy method of the bucket under the leak, emptying it as necessary to avoid water backing up all over the basement floor. But he did not like having to do it and frequently let me know via text message. Unfortunately, there was no one else who could do it since it was...
